Sketch for a Theory of Persistent Passions iii

Show me something different, Mr Penman! she expressed. I want a look into what they see, what I don’t. Also, show me what they don’t see, what you won’t let them. Show me a little more than you’ve ever let any get a glimpse of. Show me all! she continued.

But how is that even possible? he responded.

It’s simple, just be open and honest. Can’t believe you’d even ask such a question? Not everything has to be philosophical, you know?

I’ve always been open and honest but then when I am they are quick to conclude I’m less than human, as though I don’t have any feelings.

Is that why you can’t commit? Sometimes there is such a thing as being a bit too honest. I can see why some may think your attitude towards ‘love’ is reprehensible. Maybe that’s why you’re still single, she remarked.

But I’m already committed, he retorted.

Explain!

Well, ever since I picked up a pen as a little man
finding myself doing it again and again
and I still do it now as I did it then, way back when… not that it makes a difference
but as
long as there is blood in my veins and ink in my pen…
even if they don’t check back in
for many years
they can still return and find me here
keeping it moving, improving, ’til I’m on top of my game
that’s what I’m committed to.

There’s more to life than that, you know? That sort of self-centred existence can’t be right!

Right takes many forms, but has one essence. And the essence of love in my understanding is creation. Isn’t that what it’s about? Ultimately, we all just want what we can’t live without and I can definitely live without the overprescribed kind of love, but my craft – that I really can’t live without. Nothing gives me more pleasure and satisfaction…

Still, doesn’t sound much like a purposeful life. As a matter of fact, it just seems a waste of energy to me. Can’t you see you’ve lost all sense of direction?

Direction, unlike energy, is not subject to the law of substance and consequently not a measurable magnitude.

Rubbish!

Reinke-ish!

There you go theorizing again.

Well, nothing cannot give everything meaning so I prefer exploring. And if someday my poems reveal my true passions or someone finds them of some use or the work makes an impression that lasts and becomes art then that’d be a great result but I don’t expect much, just as the kelp ash from the accidental combustion of sea-weed on a sandy beach never intended to give rise to the use of glass…

Alas! I did ask you to show me but I didn’t expect you’d actually let me see through you.
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016

Advertisements

Portia Galactica viii

my heart was open to a change of mind
but as things stood I just had to leave her behind

and since pleasure is the standard of choice
I had to enjoy mine, hard as it was to resist our electric chemistry…

and the sweet seduction of her voice
that upon auditory perception drew me to her
with the natural affinity of sexual chemotaxis

but even a fraction contains infinity
so although I felt incomplete without her
I still had to find my forever

I had to keep moving to my tune
trying to make sense of the universe…

this mysterious perpetuum mobile
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016


The Lewd Life of Lucian Landsdowne vi

Setting: Lansdowne’s Living Room
Personae: Sir Lucian; and his physician, Dr Shaw

S:
she’s married Lucian, surely that can’t be right

L:
tired of hearing you go on and on about that old phenomenon of sentiment
tell me something different
something new

S:
I just think you’re being overly self-indulgent

L:
it’s not so simple, Shaw! quite a sophisticated situation actually

S:
why won’t you just come out and tell the truth, you’re the poet!
wasn’t it Matthew Arnold who wrote that “poetry is nothing less than the most perfect speech of man, that in which he comes nearest to being able to utter the truth”?

L:
that is no lie and that is why I’ve always kept close to mind that Van Dyke line “help me to deal very honestly with words and with people because they are both alive“
that’s what I try to do
and I promise you that is the truth, it’s complicated!
we didn’t plan this, things sort of just happened, you know… one thing led to another and the next…

S:
that’s beside the fact… someone is still bound to end up getting hurt

L:
well, that could well be true but I have no regrets
and yes, of course there’s always a degree of risk
but that’s with everything, love is no different

S:
you call that love?

L:
you really want to discuss definitions?

S:
all right then – forget it

L:
you’re always so quick to assume my feelings are disengaged

S:
need I mention the historical basis for my presumptions?

L:
trust me, I’m actually quite invested in this
and I’m not gon’ let you make me out like I’m some self-satisfying…

S:
not my intention…

L:
stop mocking me then, this is serious, man!
you make it seem like I’m Bismarck – forging a telegram to stir up a war – only to brag about it in my memoirs or something… but it’s really nothing like that… I care about her

S:
all right then, I apologise

L:
you want to know what that sweet lady said to me last?

S:
what did she say?

L:
“you more than made my day, you’ve made your way into my heart and there you shall forever stay”

S:
is that so? and what about her man?

L:
something about… ties of unfulfilled obligations
they have an understanding
didn’t bother going into the depths of their arrangements
besides, it’s not really my place

S:
and what does she make of your having been a bachelor your whole life…
or did she not bother asking about your past sexcapades either?

L:
probably best for us both – not disclosing much…
else we’ll end up getting attached
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016


heaven of a night

she said:
tonight you forget about her, about them
they can try for what they want
after I get what I need

to which he replied:
you always have me
and never need to bid

girls have toys too, you know?
and you’re mine, lover boy!

you’re not coy
and I love the way you take control

well, come closer then
I’ll take you to heaven
and when the sun rises in the morn’
you’ll beg me stay and never to earth return!

then she proceeded to take off the crimson lingerie she was wearing
and like a brimstone butterfly on a bed of spring primroses she laid there
looking immaculate… beautiful!

her skin, her scent, everything…
sent his endorphins into a frenzy
that even the package in his pants he could not keep from protraction

make love to me
so I’m forever in your memory
to inspire more pithy poetry…

oh yes, I have no doubt tonight will inspire more compendious compositions!

and so they spent the night in ecstasy
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016


To Live & Die Today

Profiles as with anything promotional are mostly the sum of past endeavours portrayed in a positive light; and the trend today sees those of many, who are considered to be of some distinction or other, rise or at least peak at the point of existential demise.

Perhaps that is to be expected since these are not the times of the Tahitians when the name of the powerful was considered taboo and not to be hailed until the panjandrum had died. Today, they will even pay so that you talk about nothing but they.

The predicament of this age however, is that glory as with legacy, is only posthumously attainable for as long as you live they will not excuse your shortcomings.

So to those who seek prestige – that which exists only by exclusive inaccessibility; or worse those who seek so-called pure artistic appreciation and all kinds of aesthetic variables – which tend to go beyond the fame and fortune often afforded the successful….

For those who wish to teach, be a little foolish and share but have wisdom enough to accept that even with many modes of communication, our species has not yet discovered how to reach another’s soul – if that is at all possible.

And worry not, since every possibility of thought, brought or sought, is not within the feasibility of exploit.

As for most of what you are taught or learn to desire, whether born of heredity or the peculiar print of your individuality, I say, make a conscious effort to ensure you don’t get caught up in the proliferation or pursuit of the mass projections which provide temporary delights but ultimately lead to vicarious displeasure and personal dissatisfaction.

But do, foremost, for the greatest good… finding virtue in gratitude so that you are able to secure what is sufficient for self, for if like I, you are a man of modest means, then surely your sustainability should be of greater importance than the association with the well to do and all that they approve.
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016


Talent Towers

the competition was stiff!
felt like I had entered the International Tchaikovsky Competition or some’fn…
before this, I was quite convinced I was exceptional I tell ya
such self-deceit that was
because the truth of it got quickly revealed as I found myself way in too deep…

at least the experience woke you up from your sleep

completely!

well, that’s the joie de vivre, guess you could say you’ve overcome the insuperable…

yes, and you know what else?
with all that seemingly superior talent in the room towering over me…
feeling so nano-
that’s when I realised that being inconnu is a blessing too

for it makes possible the discovery of that within you

that is true
because when wrapped up in your little world where you may be king of the castle,
wider view of that beyond the walls of your kingdom obstructed,
you tend to forget that public opinion is but a collection of disharmonious conclusions turned to general use – even if to your favour
and it can never be best measure…

I sure learned my lesson
and I hope to defy Emerson’s saying that ‘no change of circumstances can repair a defect of character’
because I truly am feeling and thinking anew after that encounter

well, why not…
wasn’t it Dewey who said that the ‘decisive direction of action constitutes choice’?

he sure did!
so I’m making a choice to take that loss as a gain,

obviously not pecuniary but possibly of greater value,
that is if my epiphanies mould my Character into one better…
as a matter of fact, I prefer that over the monetary
for it’s the most enduring of all currencies

well, one always has a preference even when he has no choice
but as long as you abide by your newly found truths
suffice it to say you just may…
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016


77.7

Gain is a form of pleasure to which most action or feeling is directed.
 

© Heath Muchena, 2016