we were complete opposites
like a skinflint and a spendthrift on separate margins of the social scale
but as I have learned – nothing comes into existence
that isn’t born of necessity or the conditions of a moment in time

she was naive and impulsive
I was immature and wayward
and I suppose it was a case of interest quickly transmuted into desire
but still tantamount to feeling

I was irresistibly drawn to her
even though I sensed but ignored the signs
that this was an unhealthy attraction from the very beginning
and she was stunning and sophisticated
in a dangerously seductive Donyale Luna way

and like a gadfly she’d always try to goad me into bitter and ugly rows
on several occasions even suggesting that she felt men wished to impose dominion over her
often describing her outbursts as reactions to a sensitivity to the supposed sexual suzerainty
justifying every overreaction as just an expression of her subversive femininity
and turning every small disagreement into an address of what she deemed of a nature hierarchical
even when there was no relation of superiority and subordination regarding the matter
also, most times she’d apologise and assure me it was nothing personal
and that it wasn’t so much I, but the system, at which she meant to direct her anger

but I claim no innocence because I let her
and admittedly something about her erratic behaviour I found perversely erotic
since I knew we’d always make up and I was undoubtedly addicted to the pleasure
so clearly I was just as much a mess as she was
and when we made love
it was the most intense passion I think we’d both ever experienced
she was my Lilith, and I, her Adam – before Eve came into the picture
and as relieved as I am to live to tell the tale
which you may guess didn’t end well
and I can confirm only got much sinister

but for now, I will spare you the detail
perhaps that’s for another chapter
but best believe, between us, there was no happily ever after
and I narrowly escaped disaster

© Heath Muchena, 2016


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