The Bianca Effect

so what did you get up to?

we had dinner

her place or yours?


she cooked?

yes, but I helped

she’s smart… got you good!

I didn’t know culinary skills were some sort of measure of one’s intellect

it’s a craft ain’t it?

I suppose, but what’s this got me good stuff you’re on about… what are you getting at?

nothing man, I’m just saying though… you know

no, I don’t… c’mon, spill… speak your mind

well,  the gut was the first organ developed in the early metazoan, so she definitely understands the primal needs of a multi-cellular animal… besides, they say the way to a man’s heart is through

his stomach, yeah I get that… but why do you have to make it sound like it’s a conspiracy or something… haven’t you ever had a lady cook you dinner before?

not on a first date… I’d never let her

ah, now that’s silly… haven’t you watched Dinner Date?… there’s nothing to it… what she gon’ do?

I dunno… put some love potion in the food and trick your as* into wanting her maybe

I gotta agree with Major Powell on that one and just simply say ‘superstition and folklore are vestigial opinion’, you’re a fool for saying that

for real… eh! check this out, this one time, this girl Bianca –  you remember her, don’t you?

how could I forget… she had you sprung all through sixth grade

well, to this day I’d always kept this one incident a secret

what happened?

it was during the summer holidays and she’d invited me to her spot for brunch one Sunday mid-morning right, I’ll never forget that day and this was before the crush and all that, I was still innocent bro… we were just friends then and I’d never looked at her any other way, but after that day everything changed man, I found myself considering… developing feelings and shi*… totally freaked me out and to this day I’m convinced she might have sprinkled a lil’ something in that lemonade, cause I particularly remember drinking it and thinking – damn this homemade lemonade if off the chain!

I see… so that’s how that whole thing started? I always wondered… now it makes sense… it was the Bianca effect… you’re funny man

I’m tellin’ you, gotta watch out for these girls, they be on some voodoo… for real…

stop it!

straight up and down man… Grand Popo to New Orleans… anyway, so you’re feeling her or what?

sorta… I dunno man… yeah, I mean she’s cool but it’s too early to tell

see I told you… (sings) ‘I put a spell on you… because you’re mine…’

ha-ha… yeah right, we hit it off though

seeing her again?

 I guess so; I gotta, right?

my man… sounds like you’re catching feelings

feeling is a biological derivative that furnishes an inducement to purposeful action… maybe it’s time this playboy puts an end to the pimpin’ you dig what I’m sayin’…

that’s that conventional convenience talk right there, you sound like a pious Christian right now man… shi*… what happened to you? she really that good, huh?

I ain’t even hit that yet… we just hung out, kept it cool

oh, word? what – you just sat there having dinner and after dessert you recited one of your sweet poems, did you? ‘sardines swim in schools, cattle range in herds, so why not me and you, exchange vows and stick together like a perfect pair’… I know you… keepin’ it cool, my foot!

quit foolin’ man

nah, I’m worried about you… talkin’ bout you didn’t hit it… that’s not like you dawg… and all this talk about you ready to hang your boots and what not… so quick? I knew it… you shouldn’t have had that dinner…

look man, consumption is the ultimate response to conation, I get the feeling she might just be the one…

I hope you come back to your senses, who is going to be my wing man if you settle down?

now wait… just stop right there, ain’t nobody talk about settling down or nothing like that… I’m just saying… I’ll see where it goes, you know… besides, you know that once desire is fulfilled there’s an end to feeling and then another arises, and it goes on and on

true… true, maybe once you hit that your judgement won’t be so clouded… yeah I hear you… all right then, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and won’t give you a hard time about it anymore… call it a truce?

a truce and a peace aren’t the same… a truce is just a game… cause the war still continues even if the fighting has ceased and any agreement regarded valid in time of war remains so even during a truce…

Jesus! you and your philosophies

no, it’s Gellius… if I must put you on game

aight then, smart as*… it’s a shame you ain’t as smart as she is…

thought you wanted a truce

yeah, until you said that don’t mean a thang

let’s try peace then?

aight, cool… peace, my dude

all right then, peace my g, catch you soon?

soon… later!




© Heath Muchena, 2016

4 Comments on “The Bianca Effect”

  1. Deb says:

    A second date would lead to a funnier conversations, I think. Love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I of July says:

    Well, just your luck. I think there might be another 🙂 glad you enjoyed it – thanks Deb xo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. cat9984 says:

    A glimpse into the true thoughts of men, 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I of July says:

    I hope a true reflection too 🙂


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